When you’re dealing with hardship, especially illness, there are two different doors you can choose to walk through. One door is the decision that everything is out of your hands completely. This decision permits you to sit back while the negative aspects of the experience take over your entire life. This is actually the easier decision.
Door number two is quite different. This is the door I have chosen. This door is the decision to empower yourself. The decision I feel like I have made is more difficult. This disease and the treatment for it is certainly taking a toll on my body – why allow it to take a toll on my mind and soul as well? If I’m forced to endure this battle between myself and this illness I’m going to take back as much control as possible. I don’t want to just sit back and assume that with illness comes unhappiness. Although this type of thinking definitely takes more of an effort mentally, I definitely believe it will make this process that much more rewarding once I reach the other side.
Don’t get me wrong – I am fully aware that at times there are and will be stressful and disappointing moments to deal with. Not all things can be sugar-coated and it’s hard to shed positive light on everything. Sometimes things do in fact seem really unfair. For example, after my first round of the juice I didn’t feel so hot for a week, but after that I was golden. That next week I felt better than I had when I was healthy! I was expecting the same time frame with this second round. It hasn’t been quite that way. It’s been exactly a week since the last round and I’m still having some annoying aches and pains. I’m also not as energetic as I’d like to be – I feel okay. I’m definitely in a much more desirable state than I was the past week, but I’m still not a 100% and that to me seems disappointing. I was really banking on feeling great as soon as I hit that one week mark. That’s just it though – things don’t always go as planned. Instead of being depressed and feeling defeated I need to just work with this. I don’t feel fantastic today, but I also don’t feel terrible. So what can I do with that? Plenty of things! I can still watch some of my favorite movies/TV shows, my appetite is good so I’ll be able to enjoy dinner, I can write, read and if I really want to I can still go out and grab a coffee with a friend. Running a marathon or going to the gym? Probably ill-advised, but who wants to do that anyway? The point is – yes, I am a little disappointed that I’m not feeling as wonderful as I counted on, but no it is NOT the end of the world. I can still make this day a good day – and I will!